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The Beginning Of My Ascendance Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Vienneau" journal:

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April 22nd, 2007
10:59 am

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My Sister, Nicole Vienneau, Has Gone Missing in Syria


Summary        (*Bi-Weekly Blog Updates are further down the page*)

My sister, Jacqueline "Nicole" Vienneau, a Canadian tourist, disappeared in Syria on Saturday, March 31st, 2007 at the age of 32. She was in her fifth month of a six-month solo adventure through West Africa and the Middle East. She was last seen by the desk clerk at 8:30 in the morning as she left the Cairo Hotel in Hama, two hours north of Damascus.

She definitely intended to return to the hotel as her backpack was left in her room along with the memory cards from her camera, full of photos. She also left her journals that include an entry made the night before she disappeared. Canadian police retrieved her Hotmail account email records indicating she attempted to login around 8:30 Friday night but was unable to (Syrian Internet connections are not reliable). Her last completed emails were sent Thursday night.

Nicole's guidebook was also left in her room. In the back of her Lonely Planet "Middle East" guidebook she wrote directions to a number of places in Syria that we believe she copied from the Cairo Hotel's copy of the Lonely Planet "Syria" guidebook. Nicole spoke with some guests about these locations earlier in the week and the hotel clerk indicating that on the morning she disappeared, she asked for directions to the "Beehive Houses", a local sightseeing destination, as well as Qasr Ibn Wardan (a nearby castle).

No one at these locations recalls seeing Nicole (and they are not heavily visited) and the Qasr Ibn Wardan logbook has a record of only one visitor, Amin Ben Yahia, a person of interest to us (b. 1984, Algerian/Swiss nationality, father is Abbas, mother is Monica) in hopes that he remembers something unusual about that day.

Nicole preferred taking local transit, but none of the minibus drivers or locals remembers seeing her. As a foreigner, Nicole stood out in all of Syria, but particularly in Hama where the majority of women in Hama dress in robes and cover their hair. The streets from the hotel to the minibus pick-up are main streets with lots of people, even at 8:30 in the morning.

In May 2007, I flew to Syria with Nicole's fiancé Gary to re-trace her steps and meet with police and local officials. Gary spent an additional two months criss-crossing Syria searching for clues. My mother joined Gary in Syria in July 2007 and met with the Grand Mufti as well as the Minister of the Interior. She also made a personal plea on Syrian television and we put ads in the newspapers and local flyers. Gary and my mother returned to Syria in April 2008 to raise awareness and follow up on leads with officials and the police.

My mother returned to Syria with Gary for a third visit in March 2009 and we continue to work with Syrian government and police officials on the investigation.

There is up to 2,250,000 Syrian pounds ($45,000) in reward money for information leading us to Nicole.

We are currently looking for other guests at the Cairo Hotel in case they spoke with Nicole. A list is at the bottom of this page.

For pictures of Nicole and what she was wearing when she disappeared, as well as relevant personal information and summaries of the search so far, please visit:

http://www.findnicolevienneau.com/

From the "official" website, you can also submit anonymous tips, make donations towards the search, view the picture gallery and download posters and Nicole's notes. Arabic versions of most pages are also available. Public comments can be made here to the blog.


You can always email me directly and anonymously at mattv99@hotmail.com

All comments and emails, public and private, are read immediately, but unfortunately I cannot respond to everyone. Feel free to respond in any language that you're comfortable with, though all of my responses will likely be in English.

November 1st (Evening):

One of Syria's goals these days (and pretty much every other country in the world) is to increase tourism. As such, every time my mom reads articles like this one extolling the virtues of Syria, she wants to contact the writer and clarify that it's not necessarily as safe as you think, and if something goes wrong, not too much may be done about it.

The article link was sent by a reader who also wrote to the editor of the Guardian (the newspaper that published it) saying that a bit more balance to the reporting would be good (though travel articles aren't generally all that objective and are mostly funded by the place being visited). It may help to have people contact the Guardian, if only because our search hasn't had any exposure in the United Kingdom.

And it does get us wondering how much this affects our search. When the (former) Minister of Justice says Nicole is just "having an adventure" two years after she disappeared, it's tough to think that he isn't concerned about his country's image. Quite frankly, I think the best thing for the image of Syria would be to find Nicole and show that while problems happen anywhere, you're in good care in Syria. It worries me that maybe they can't do that because finding Nicole exposes a wider web of deceit and corruption.

Speaking of two years, Nicole left on her trip exactly three years ago today. She is now two and half years late.

A friend of Nicole's pointed out that the latest version of the Lonely Planet (3rd 2008) for Syria no longer recommends the Citadel Hotel in Palmyra, where Nicole stayed. But it's hard to tell if that's because the place has gotten worse, or because the writer of the second edition that Nicole was using just wasn't very good (it appears he/she may not have done as thorough a job as one would like, especially looking at the errors and so on that we found).

October 14th (Evening):

A few months ago my mom submitted a Freedom of Information (FOI) request to the Canadian government for all the documents they had on Nicole. As I may have mentioned before, a key document had gone missing between Syria and Canada and so we wanted to make sure there weren't any more that we hadn't seen. The government insisted we submit a formal request for the information.

This past week the government got back to my mom and said they can't release information relating to me, or Gary or anyone else in the family involved unless we each give our explicit written consent. So each of us had to hurriedly mail a letter to Ottawa giving approval. An incredibly frustrating process.

Here in Toronto the backpack of the missing 17-year old girl was found and the police immediately set up a command post nearby so they can talk to all the people in the area and search for clues. This is exactly what should have happened in Syria when Nicole went missing, let alone when we reported her missing a month later. But instead we were assigned a single detective from the local force. Is it any surprise that she hasn't been found?

A devoted volunteer reviewed all the blog entries and mentioned a point from way back - the Cairo Hotel reported Nicole missing on April 2nd and the "political police" (there are a half dozen or so different types of police in Syria, similar to FBI, local police, CIA in the States) investigated and apparently decided it wasn't a political disappearance by April 6th or 8th.

Notwithstanding the *incredible* frustration of the political police investigating but not telling the Canadian Embassy, it struck our volunteer as odd that the Syrians were able to "clear" Nicole so quickly. This is someone who has been travelling and meeting people for the past five months, including a few days in neighbouring Lebanon and Jordan, and they checked it all out that quickly?

It's possible that they just verified she'd been to the typical tourist spots and hadn't been noted by anyone, but if they have all these kind of information, why did it take so long for them to even verify whether she was still in the country when we came looking for her? There seem to be gaps in this story, but I don't know if that's because our information is wrong, our understanding of how things work is wrong, or if there's something being hidden in Syria. I sure would like to find out though.

My mother sent another letter to the First Lady - President Al-Assad's wife. She responded to our first two letters and we're hopeful that this keeps up awareness of the search for Nicole.

Google Alerts sends me an email whenever it links to a new page mentioning Nicole. A few weeks ago it found this "Forensic Astrology" page. It's unusual in that a lot of effort has apparently gone into the page, but we've heard nothing (that I'm aware of) from the author. It's entertaining, but unfortunately does not quite fit the facts as we know them.

My brother came home for the long weekend and seems to be doing okay despite eating only soft foods. The scar on his jaw isn't noticeable and the second scar is inside his mouth. We'll have to see what kind of long term effects the injury will have.

September 27th (Evening):

A 17-year old girl, Mariam Makhniashvili, has gone missing right here in Toronto, roughly in my neighbourhood. Apparently while just outside her school she disappeared. No leads at all, police are perplexed. Case is complicated by the family history - she moved here from Russia just three months ago where she'd been living with her grandparents while her parents worked in Los Angeles. Last person to see her was her brother who says that he went in the back of the school while she went in the front.

I have lots of theories on what could have happened - years of developing theories about Nicole expands the mind that way. You have to look closely at the family and the last person who saw her. You also have to check people she knew back in Russia - did she just runaway to be back with her friends or a boyfriend? She's also new to the country and possibly easy to mislead. Was she abducted by someone?

This leads me to a book I'm currently reading as part of the search for Nicole - The Natashas: Inside The New Global Sex Trade by Victor Malarek, a Canadian author. It was written in 2003 and details some chilling stories about women from Russia being lured to other countries (often by other women, some of whom are trying to buy their own freedom) and sold into sexual slavery from which they have a lot of trouble escaping. I've read a lot of books on crime recently and they all end up leaving me very depressed about corruption and violence in the world.

We continue to hope that Nicole has not been captured and sent somewhere as a sex slave, the details of which I'll avoid mentioning (needless to say, it is likely much worse than you're thinking). It is the one viable scenario that has her still alive, but I just can't imagine this much time would have passed without any clues or contact - Nicole is canny and a fighter, she would find a way (the book describes women who borrow cell phones from "johns" to call home and tell people where they are).

Syria is a source of women for sex trafficking - commonly Iraqi refugees with few options. We continue to hope/believe that no one would be brazen enough to grab a foreign tourist. That being said, we have some evidence that leads us to consider the option. The hotel clerk that last saw Nicole left the Cairo Hotel soon after Nicole disappeared and started a business, supposedly with money recently given to him by a woman he knew. The nature of their relationship, and the identity of the woman, is a mystery to us. One would think the police would follow this lead as much as possible, but they do not appear to be getting too far with it. Our hope that the police/officials investigating Nicole's disappearance are not also corrupt is being tested.

In Mexico, 60-year old Canadian woman Renee Wathelet was murdered in her condo a week or two ago. This is the latest in a series of murdered Canadians in Mexico. Travelling does have risks, and life in general can be dangerous once in a while, no matter where you are. We have the unusual situation of Syria, but it would be no less devastating if Nicole had made it back and then disappeared or been murdered in her home.

One of Nicole's friends has taken a great interest in her disappearance appears to be working tirelessly to help find her. He read through the entire blog (which is quite lengthy at this point) trying to pull together information. Due to his work we've realized that Nicole's journals indicate she "socialized in the foyer" on the 29th, but the Americans she talked to that we've subsequently found and spoken with, talked to her on the 30th (as confirmed in the hotel guest register). That leaves us with people who would have spoken with Nicole (the "socializing") but whom we either haven't found, or haven't mentioned it to us. We found most of the guests, so this is very surprising. But it could be nothing - it is easy to forget idle chatter with a random person at a hostel, especially months or years later.

Again, these are the details you'd expect the police to be on top of, but it seems like we have to remind them that her journals even exist (which we translated to Arabic) sometimes. And such a difference proximity makes - the missing Russian girl here in Toronto has dozens of officers and helicopters and dogs out searching random parks in hopes of finding evidence. Meanwhile we have no RCMP presence on the ground (or desire to change that) and the Syrian police didn't investigate until a month after she was reported missing.

We're still working out how best to approach the Canadian government for more direct assistance and diplomatic support in convincing the Syrians to push a bit harder. The chance of an election has diminished recently, which at least reduces the distractions for politicians should we need their attention.


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Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Gerard McMann - "Cry Little Sister"
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April 15th, 2007
08:38 pm

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Stop Hurting Me!

Round 5:

Opponent times out for inactivity. I'm sure he had a Dragon in his deck though.

Round 6:

I get a turn 3 Call of the Herd and then miss three straight land drops. I still hold my own until turn 7 when Numot the Dragon comes into play. He's the one that destroys lands. I play my fourth land and think, "at least I don't mind using Rough to clear the board, because I'll never get to six mana to play Tumble!"

Final tally: 12 spells, 4 lands.

Game 2 sees me not Shocking a morphed Shaper Parasite on turn four becaues I have Rough and Grapeshot in my hand and figure I can do better with a 4/2 to trade with his Spider. I didn't know it was a Parasite, but there was certainly a good possibility that in his four-colour deck he wasn't playing Fathom Seer, Brine Elemental or Aquamorph. And Shapeshifter is still a good target.

I then face a series of complicated decisions involving the three aforementioned red spells. I almost always get into trouble when my kill spells aren't straightforward. I actually dislike having mass kill - it's just not my style and it only messes me up (except, of course, in those rare instances when it owns your opponent after a fast start). Despite massive card disadvantage, he seems to draw nothing but dudes and make some dubious choices to give me the win.

Of course, it doesn't matter because in game three I mulligan this hand:

Stonewood Invocation, Fury Sliver, 3 Mountains, 2 Forests

into this one:

Mire Boa, Sporesower Thallid, Stuffy Doll, Pyrohemia, Forest, Forest

What can I do? I have to hope for a Mountain.

Guess how many lands I had on turn 7 when I conceded? That's right, three Forests. The fourth land was 16 cards into the deck at which point I would have drawn 12 spells and 3 lands.

Of course, this game he opens with a 2/1 and a 4/1 that I would love to Rough up a bit. But no, his Grapeshot kills the Boa and Call of the Herd eventually just chump blocks the Halberdier as his Dryad and other creatures run me over.

My deck, which [info]wiredaces thought was amazing, went 2-3-bye. Granted, Geordie probably figured it would be played properly, and wouldn't face four Dragons. Note that there's 5 Dragons in 55 rares, and each person only gets two, so if my rudimentary math skills are at all up to par, I should only see 1-2 dragons in six rounds. Of course, I probably should see a 4th mana source with 19 in the deck, but that didn't happen too frequently either. Aren't I lucky?

Thus it comes down to:

Inferior Deck Construction?

or

Inferior Play Skills?

If only I had a paid account and could do polls!

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Peter, Paul & Mary - "Puff The Magic Dragon"
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06:28 pm

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No Really, I Mean It - Ouch.

Once again I find myself with 30+ minutes until the next round, despite being the last to finish in the agonizing 2-hour first round.

Round 3

I drew cards. I played them properly. I won the game.
I drew cards. I played them properly. I won the game.

Any questions?

Round 4

I drew cards. I almost played them properly. He double-mulliganed. He played a turn 5 Stonebrow. I lost the game.
I drew cards. I played them properly. He played a turn 5 Dragon. I lost the game.

Any questions?

I know *I* have some questions...

Do you keep this opening hand:

Rough/Tumble, Deadwood Treefolk, Search for Tomorrow, 3 Forests, Mountain?

It has no action, and the Deadwood Treefolk is, uh, dead until you get guys into the graveyard. I thought he was a bomb, but he's really only "all that" in top-deck battles and the late game of a war of attrition that's stalled. That's what we call, "insights from Mr. Obvious" - it's like you're reading StarCity set reviews right here on LiveJournal!

Zing!

So it's five land and a mediocre mass-kill spell. I kept it because he was going first with 5 cards, and I figure I can buy time and perhaps a 2 for 1 with the Rough.

Needless to say, Rough feels like Gentle against Stonebrow.

What I also failed to remember, of course, is that everyone has a Dragon in their deck, and if Tumble is the only way you have to deal with a 6/6 flyer, you need to save it. Rough/Tumble is a 6-mana Wing Snare for me. I've taken two or three of the cocky flying lizards down already today. So my opening hand was 5 mana and nothing.

Another question...

When you're tapped out and your opponent attacks with a 2/3 and 6/6 into your 3/6 Deadwood, do you:

1) block the 6/6 and throw away your 3/6 for no reason?
2) block the 2/3 despite having Stonewood Invocation in hand and no other creatures with the assumption that you're opponent in the 2-1 bracket is an idiot and thus is just throwing away his 2/3 for no reason?
3) take 8 and play a Totem with four mana free the next turn so you can destroy the Stonebrow?

I think we can all guess which idiotic play I might have chosen...and for those that are interested, "Ovinize" was the trick. Word of Seizing was his next trick and he likely would have used it the following turn on my 3/6 (to be countered by the Invocation), so it's not like an auto-win - my opponent's 5-card hand was pretty good (or my 7 cards were just bad?) My only other option was to immediately Rough the Shaper Parasite as a 1-for-1 so my River Boa lived (not really good against Stonebrow), but I got greedy with so many lands in hand AND he missed his third land drop AND he didn't have any Islands at that point and there aren't a lot of scary green or red morphs.

More questions...

Do you keep this hand:

Battering Sliver, Call of the Herd, Stuffy Doll, Yavimaya Dryad, Forest, Mountain, Mountain?

I think you do. You have turn 3 Call with a turn 4 follow-up on a single land. Thus the Dryad isn't that important on turn 3, but if it does come up then Stuffy Doll is next and you only need one more land to play your hand.

It turned out really well if he didn't have a 6/6 flier on turn 5. I actually raced and almost beat Intet because he drew so many lands, but he picked up enough blockers to take the match.

What can you do? (besides, of course, playing properly and not losing earlier rounds to lag and pressing the wrong key)

Current Mood: resigned
Current Music: John Williams - "Duel of the Fates"
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04:33 pm

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Ouch.

After all the fun I've been having with drafting, I thought I'd try the 4X Sealed this afternoon at 2pm. I've just finished the second round.

If you've played MTGO, then you know that I must be a masochist to play in a Premiere Event because there's no way the server can handle it. Sure enough, after game 1 of the first round the server crashes. What a surprise.

And it's laggy. Every click takes forever to process. It's incredibly frustrating because all of my clocked time is wasted waiting for clicks to process and obnoxious graphics to roll across the screen so I can click on them.

First Round

I win the first game. I throw away the second game because I choose not to trample over for two because it's really important that the other creature die, and if it does die, then I've got board control and don't need to worry about two damage.

It dies. It comes back to life with Evolution Charm. I die in a race with him at 1 life.

I destroy him third game as he's getting killed by lag. He missed his second land drop, keeping Mountain, Chromatic Star, Looter, which seems a bit risky. And as proof that Looter sucks - 4 hits with a the Looter and I couldn't care less. One power does not scare me.

Round 2

This is where I start swearing and cursing.

Turn three, I press F6 on his turn and it doesn't work, so I press it again, and all of a sudden, I've missed my third turn.

FUCK.

I think, "maybe it won't matter" because I kept a 5 land, Wall, Invocation hand and don't have any threats. But it ends up mattering. My curve gets thrown off by some expensive draws and Stuffy Doll doesn't hit play on turn 4, but instead joins us on turn 7. I lose with him at less than 4 life (I think it was just 1).

I swear that I'll never do that again. And then promptly miss my FIRST FUCKING TURN of game 2, forcing me to discard. I pressed F6 on his turn, then it didn't seem to work, so I pressed F4 and due to lag, skipped my turn. It's hard to express just how incredibly frustrating it is to do this. Imagine swear words. Lots of swear words.

It's not certain that I would have won game 2, but it was a lot more likely. Just to make sure I didn't mount a comeback, I threw away the game a second time by not pinging my own creature so his "about to die" Flametongue could kill his Hydra. It probably didn't matter because he had a Dragon to finish me. Everyone seems to have a Dragon. Hell, I have a dragon, but it's BRW and I'm GRx. I also have Desolation Giant, but the WW splash seems like too much.

I'm happy to send out my sealed .dec file if anyone else would like a go at it! (I'd include a text listing, but it's in alphabetical order and not really useful for a tricky build)

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Imperial March - "Rage Mix"
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April 13th, 2007
10:46 pm

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Those Who Can't...

I want to rant about education.

This has been building up in me for years (as many English teachers at parties I've attended have discovered), but [info]juggernt's recent rhetorical comment brought it to the surface. I haven't done a non-Magic rant in a while, so why not give it a go and see if my muscles are soft?

His point was the oft-mentioned cliche that, "wouldn't it be nice if teachers were paid as much as celebrities and athletes".

As a person whose family and friends are filled with teachers, I have one thing to say to that, Puh-lease. Is 10-16 weeks of vacation not enough?

Have you seen what they teach in school these days? When we start finding teachers who know how to really teach, and realize what should be taught versus rote learning and archaic literature (Shakespeare, I'm looking at you), *then* maybe they'll start earning a bit more coin.

Our school systems are based on 19th century "what a gentleman should know" type of learning versus things that are useful for improving your life and improving society. Schools rush computers into the classrooms even though they've been repeatedly proven not to improve (and potentially hurt) learning or grades (duh!). Schools teach Latin and Shakespeare and 2-dimensional Geometry while ignoring basic economics and politics that might help students become productive and contribute to the society around them (or at least improve the quality of their voting). Where's the critical thought? Where's the ability to see biased writing, understand statistics and be skeptical of government and advertising? People and team skills? Anyone? Anyone?

You know what was, by far, the most valuable class for me in high school? Typing. It got me high paying jobs all through high school and university, and had me working with computers all the time learning word processing and spreadsheet skills. It is closely followed by Computer Science and Economics where I learned coding and decision-making skills as simple as opportunity cost. None of those courses are mandatory.

You know what was easily the most useless set of courses? English. That's a course you have to take throughout high school up here in Canada. I love reading and writing and in the appropriate situation, I'm not a bad speaker. But none of that is due to what I learned in English where my marks fluctuated wildly depending on my relationship with the teacher. What about French? Most of English Canada needs to take French and yet very few of us can actually understand a native speaker. Give us a red octagonal sign with "ArrĂȘt" though, and we can both tell you what it means and conjugate it! Math? Why not un-inspire generations of children by making it boring and seemingly inapplicable?

That leads me to the worst crime - the methods of teaching. Teachers and textbooks make it look like everything is already known. I read Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" and afterwards I wanted to jump up and start taking a degree in both paleontology and biology because I never realized how much is still waiting to be discovered. But all through school there was a feeling of nothing new to be explored and all the big problems had been solved. There are millions of kids out there who have memorized hundreds, if not thousands, of Magic cards and song lyrics and television shows (or improved their language skills with roleplaying games) because they're fun, but they can't figure out how to get kids learning the basics of primary subjects or inspire them to go into the sciences. We can't even get them to read!

Where are the goals? Some kids will want to make lots of money, show them how! Others will want to help people or learn about the world around them, still others will want to teach or lead or build or drive subways (though I can't possibly imagine anyone who really wants to do that - they deserve the big money). What do we do about that? Nothing! We teach them all the same subjects, the same way they were taught to us and to our parents before us. The theory is that if you teach the basics, the rest can be figured out, but we seem to have forgotten how to teach application.

I realize that this is somewhat similar to blaming government workers for the sorry state of the government. It's not entirely the fault of the educator, but they're hardly guilt-free, especially as many of them go on to help design curriculums and policy. There are lots of bad teachers out there, and there are lots of mediocre teachers out there. But similarly, there are lots of not-so-good actors and athletes and they're not making a lot of money either.

Where are the great teachers? The ones that inspire students, that challenge them? That make students better people for having attended the class, not just a bigger bucket of facts? Get them together and I assure you that within a generation, they'll be living in big houses and attending the best parties.

Granted there are different levels of education. It's been a while since I've attended primary schooling, but seeing how it turns out later, I suspect the beginnings aren't so different. And university education is just as bad - everything I learned from university was by accident!

The education system is a massive failure, and the teachers are its guardians and propagators. They don't deserve to be paid more until they start producing a better product. Unfortunately, I don't see the people demanding such an improvement until they become better educated!

Current Mood: rejuvenated
Current Music: Alice Cooper - "School's Out"
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10:05 pm

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The Pain Returns

First pick Castle Raptor over Ixidron because there are other blue cards in the pack and I feel like playing solid cards that will always do me well. Other choices are Sol'Kanar and Spiketail. Second pick is Might Sliver over 2/2 white flanker. I never get Might Slivers, so I figure maybe now is my chance. But I hate drafting slivers over better cards. I take Watcher Sliver over Looter, then get a Spinneret Sliver, then take Gemhide Sliver over Fathom Seer (argh!) but can't resist taking Chromatic Star over Venser Sliver.

A second Gemhide says I can do as many colours as I want, but I don't get to long range the 5-colour 4/4 Ur-Dragon. I end up in GWr with two Bonesplitters, Lightning Axe and Rift Bolt maindeck (4/4 Trampling sliver and red Prodigal in the side). Every card is good - Penumbra Spider, Stonecloaker, Saltfield Recluse, Poultice Sliver, Cloudchaser, two Citanul Woodreaders, 2 Amrou Seekers, Mire Boa, Errant Doomsayers and Sunlance.

My first round opponent is Japanese with an 1846 ranking, "kajikaji". Perhaps a Japanese pro?

I miss my 4th land drop but know to play the Seeker before the regenerating sliver and start hitting for 2. But with no 4th land in side, I trade the Poultice for Flowstone Channeler so my Boa can hit play because I need to stay high in life for when the Halbedier un-suspends. Unfortunately, he has Prodigal so the trade isn't worth it, and I draw the 4th land so I could have hit with the Bonesplitter'd 4/2 regenerator. My inexperience with (and lack of faith in) slivers is showing.

Watcher followed by Might followed by Bonesplitter would seem to be good times, but Temporal Isolation and Fortify on the 4/1 takes down the Watcher and the Might sliver. Again, my error entirely - I knew I passed two Fortify and should have taken the hit and waited until I had mana open for Lightning Axe. Luckily Orcish Cannonade took out the Seeker so we're still close on life at 14 to 13 for me.

The Lightning Axe turns out handy on the Pardic Dragon next turn, and Saltfield Recluse says I'll win the race if he doesn't have anything. Unfortunately he does and Skirk Shaman makes the board more complicated. I top-deck a 4/4 Spinneret Sliver and I'm feeling a lot better at 4 life facing a pinger, 4/1 and 2/2 red fear guy. He does nothing and I draw a second seeker. This allows me to attack with the 4/4 green sliver, keep the 4/4 red sliver back, and still have extra creatures and tricks so he concedes.

Game two has me open weakly with two Forests, two Plains, Poultice and Bonesplitter Sliver and Saltfield Recluse. Not aggressive unless he has no blockers and I draw a Mountain. Again I make the grievous error of trading Poultice Sliver for Mogg War Marshall and a token. A ridiculously bad trade given that I drew the mountain and would have two 4/2 regenerating slivers the following turn. Skirk Shaman laughs at the Spider I play instead, and despite stalling at three lands, he continues to play spells with Flowstone Channeler. I again get foolishly aggressive and attack with the spider into Red-White leaving only a 4/2 to block. It's sometimes tough to watch these games afterwards when I can see just how stupid I'm playing. He takes the two to 18 and Sudden Shocks my guy (so losing the Poultice earlier wasn't so bad) to hit me for 5 down to 11.

I'm up to 6 mana now with two more in hand. I play out the Recluse and keep Stonecloaker back. My problem with Stonecloaker is that I want to be aggressive with it, I don't want to sit around. But finally I'm in a position to sit around as the board is at parity.

Pardic Dragon

Did I say parity? I meant...parity. A suspended Pardic Dragon (he's still at 3 mana) is very ineffective against gating creatures and I begin the Stonecloaker dance to put on those time counters.

He attacks with everything and I know I'm screwed - he's holding Fortify. Why am I screwed? Because I foolishly attacked with the Spider again thinking the Stonecloaker provided defence! The Stonecloaker trades with a 4/2 Channeler and I take 5 down to 4 because I'm stupid.

Might Sliver comes into play only to face Aether Membrane (not a combo with a suspended Pardic Dragon) so I lay an 8th land and follow up with Watcher Sliver and the Spider that came to hide for the Stonecloaker. This is where my earlier Chromatic Star pick comes to haunt me as he plays a 5/7 Venser sliver that I can only glare at with frustration. I hated 9 other slivers (some in my colours), but not the one that was most important.

He plays Eron the Relentless while I draw my 10th and 11th lands. Suddenly his 5/7, 5/2 and 2/2 attack into my two 4/6s and a 2/4. What's up with this? Apparently nothing - he loses the Venser and I turn a Spider into a token and take no damage. I draw Rift Bolt for Eron and now I can attack back with everything to apply pressure!

Except, of course, that I'm a frickin' idiot. Those of you who are shaking your head at how stupid I must be to attack into a Membrane with a token creature deserve to be winning more 8-4 drafts. Or perhaps FNM and pre-releases. I lose the 2/4 spider, kill a goblin token, and hit him to 12. He slaps down a Basalt Gargoyle that I can no longer block while I draw land #12. I continue to attack into the Membrane and deal 4 a turn while making sure the Dragon will never see play, but as I draw the 13th land in 21 cards, I am forced to concede because of my own idiocy. The top two cards are Chromatic Star and land, but this game was mine for the taking if I had played it properly at all.

Game 3 has the usual "mulligan or not?" question:

Castle Raptors, Lightning Axe, Bonesplitter Sliver, Citanul Woodreader, Mountain, Plains, Plains.

I think this is a keeper even though I can't play any spells. I have 9 green sources that get the Woodreaders out, and any land gets a Bonesplitter while two lands gets me the Raptor, all the while having Lightning Axe back-up.

By turn four I haven't draw another land but I have drawn a Cloudchaser for turn three and Chromatic Star for turn 4. I decide to hold the Star and pop it for green and the Woodreader on turn 5 as I still haven't draw a 4th land and I'm now facing two 1/1 goblins and a Basalt Gargoyle.

I did, however, draw Stonecloaker, but I still don't know how to use it properly. I finally draw the Forest so with a 2/2 flier and 1/4 guy in play, I can Axe, play any of two Bonesplitters and a Watcher, or hold back on Stonecloaker.

I decide to hit with the Cloudchaser to make it a bit of a race, and play the Watcher to hold the ground hoping that my sliver combos will overwhelm the losing race in the air. He hits six mana and the Dragon comes to play once again. This necessitates a Lava Axe (discarding a just-drawn Woodreader) and I attack with the 2/2 and 2/4, this time intelligently leaving the 1/4 back in case of shenanigans. Perhaps I should have attacked with the 1/4 and attempted to lure a goblin in for Stonecloaker beatings?

A moot point as he plays Venser Sliver and Sudden Shocks my Stonecloaker when I exchange it for the Woodreaders. It's turn 8, I'm at 9 life, and I'm agonizing for a land so I can play the Raptor and solidify the board. Can "agonizing" even be used that way?

I attack for 2 knocking him to 12 and play a Bonesplitter so I have two 4/4s in play. Only when he attacks with everything do I realize what a stupid thing I've done - the man has two Fortify! Had I kept the Cloudchaser back, then I get another turn and maybe the Castle Raptor, or the other Bonesplitter, or anything that isn't being dead!

Grr.

But as usual, I can't really complain - it was my own fault. Exactly how many times do you hear that from someone whining about their Magic loss?

[EDIT: I forgot to mention that for game 3 I put in an 18th land to go with the Star and the two Gemhide Slivers because I was worried his multiple pingers would batter my mana base. 20 sources and still no 5th land!]

Current Mood: ruefull
Current Music: Beck - "Loser"
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06:43 pm

[Link]

Best In The World?

I'm back at the draft table. An 8-4 draft again, looking forward to a weekend of online Magic fun and no bathing.

In my draft is Gainsay, who I believe is former pro Andrew Cuneo and won the invite to the World Champs a few years ago. Also in the draft is Finkel. The Finkel. I get all giggly inside - as Krakower says, I have a non-sexual crush on Finkel. I admire success and good looks, and he's got both! I suspect he doesn't feel the same about me, especially after a certain sea-sickness incident on a South African shark-viewing boat with an open bar that I took full advantage of, but that's a story for another day.

The draft opens with Soot and Stuffy Doll. I go with the removal and follow it up with Careful Consideration over Fathom Seer. No blue or black (or anything else for that matter) seems to be coming through (third-pick Lens) and I'm passing up Mindstabs because there's nothing else to see. After pack one I have a Trespasser to go with the Soot, and a bunch of mediocre blue cards (blue is always hotly contested at the 8-4 table).

Pack two doesn't help me out - the Seer put someone close to me in blue downstream, and I think they're taking the black as well. I first-pick Dark Withering to go with all my madness outlets and see no other madness cards though I do snag a second-pick Expanse...sigh. My top unmentioned picks after two packs are a two Stormcloud Djinns, Spiketail Hatchling, Snapback and a late Phthisis. Then it's down to gray ogres and Mystical Teaching type picks.

I'm set for a third colour (probably red to go with the Soot) in pack three and I'm gifted with the UWR Dragon! Which I can't play. Despite a U/W storage land, the double splash is a mistake. I get tormented a bit more 5-6 packs later with the BGW Dragon. Bastard dragons and their haughty reptilian smirks.

I do pick up Jodah's Avenger which I've played against but never with, as well as 3 Erratic Mutation. I'm not sure if I'm over-estimating it or not, but I didn't think I'd get that many. Aeon Chronicler is another rare I've had disputes over so I'm looking forward to seeing it in action.

By the end I've got 10-12 creatures and 12-14 spells. My creatures are all pretty mediocre, but with all my card-drawing and removal I'm hopeful I can get to the second round and then, who knows?

Round 1:

My opponent has never played MTGO before. He mulligans to 6, misses his second, third and 4th turn land drop, and then discards Halberdier. I win this one, despite having a bit of land trouble in game 2.

Round 2:

The Legendary Jon Finkel. One of the most feared players of the game. Someone you never want to sit across when facing elimination from prizes. I believe I've only played Jon once in Sanctioned Magic, and he beat me around at PT Chicago in the final rounds. He's also pretty good lifetime against me in money drafting. He might just be better than me.

I whip him in under 30 seconds.

Don't ask me - for some reason he dropped from the draft after winning the first round. Probably had millions to win in a sports betting emergency - perhaps the last minute odds on the NHL playoffs?

Round 3:

Not sure yet, I'm still waiting out my bye. But I thought I'd get this written before the draft ends so I can spend more time with the Armoire afterwards. While she enjoyed watching "300" last night, she's starting to give the computer quite the evil glare for all the time it takes from her. I've begun to worry that my power bar may go missing...

So should I play it out? Mediocre deck (as always), finals of an 8-4? Or take the 6 packs and live to fight another day, perhaps the 4X Sealed on Sunday?

EDIT: Cuneo draws with me in the Finals. The Armoire has arrived and I must be off to greet her!

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Linkin' Park - "One Step Closer"
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April 11th, 2007
08:55 pm

[Link]

And So Endeth The Pain...
8-4 draft on tilt.

Opening pack gives me Shapeshifter or Soot with Fathom Seer as the other card in either colour. My gut says Shapeshifter even though black is generally under-drafted. The Squish Test is no good here - sometimes Soot beats Shapeshifter, sometimes it doesn't, the first tie I can remember in 10 years of applying the test.

Second pick is Ixidron, Brine Elemental or Looter. I hate the Looter, and I under-value Brine Elemental because I never seem to be in the right position to use it. I've never played with Ixidron, but it has never impressed me on the other side of the table, likely because my creatures are always so bad that it's a step up!

I go with Ixidron. I get a Riftwing at some point and a late Pentarch Paladin that I'm probably over-valuing. I grab a Gorgon and then hate a Mindstab only to decide in pack two that I'm going to be black-blue because there are no other white cards. I grab a blink as a possible splash and then get passed a BUG Dragon but both end up in my sideboard. As those of you who have read the GP Dallas top 8 coverage (see the Quarterfinals vs. Blackwell), I don't like splashing two forests for a Dragon. I'm still playing plenty of rares with Ixidron, Magus of the Cabal, Nether Traitor, Shapeshifter and Null Profusion (one of my favourite cards). My only removal are two Cradle to Grave, Midnight Charm and Dark Withering.

I'm convinced my deck is not good. I'm playing Deadly Grub, Merfolk Thaumaturgist and Skulking Knight over Timebender and another Grub. Extra points to those of you who notice the combo between Deadly Grub and Ixidron - I know I didn't. The plan was to survive long enough to play one of my many 5-drops (including Stormcloud Djinn and Gorgon but not Evil Eye or Dementia Sliver) and hope to win on, uh, card quality?

Game 1 see early beatdown with a 2/1 and 1/2 backed by Cradle to Grave for both the Sporesower Thallid and Ghost Ship - they are better than I expected. Nether Traitor pinged for a couple before I finally drew a 5th land and used Ixidron to upgrade my guys and downgrade his two Deepwalkers. Now that I have mana, a Magus of the Coffers and Dark Withering allow me to fight through Pongify, Snapback, Utopia Vow and Brine Elemental with a bunch of good spells as backup.

Game 2 has me screaming at the screen again. Do you keep this hand:

Stormcloud Djinn, Cradle to Grave, Skulking Knight, Rightwing Cloudskate, Mindstab, Island, Island?

Of course you don't! Only 9 swamps means you have one action card. You need to draw three lands for the flier and by the time you draw the Swamp you'll likely have other things to do than hold it open for Cradle. And without a Swamp on turn 1, Mindstab gets a lot weaker.

So of course I keep. I'm not bright that way.

Island
Island, Suspend Cloudskate
No play
Discard Mindstab.
He taps his five Forests and hits me for five with Weatherseed Totem.
Island, Morphed Aquamorph Entity, Cloudskate the Totem.
He replays the Totem and adds a 4/4 Sporesower.
Island, unmorph the 1/5 and take 5 down to 10.

At this point, there's lots of yelling at the Armoire about how unjust the world is, though admist my rage I do note that he's stuck at 6 Forests and is likely raging at his partner as well.

Island #5 arrives. Unlike before, I'm not sitting on a hand of off-colour spells so I can slap down a relatively unimportant Stormcloud. He then hammers the table with Jedit. If there's any time you want to draw 6 Forests it's when you have Weatherseed Totem and Jedit.

Luckily, I have Ixidron. His 4/4 and 5/5 become measely 2/2s that can only look on in wistful envy at my 5/5 blue illusion.

I'm at 10. He attacks with his two morphs and 5/3 trampler into my one un-tapped morph and a 5/5 blocker hoping to trade his two morphs for my morph and Ixidron. I craftily see through it and only block one of the morphs with Ixidron. Oh wait, didn't he have Strenght in Numbers last game?

He did. And he does. Except, inexplicably, he concedes instead. I chase after him in the chat room and apparently he got so locked into trading a morph and Strength for my 5/5 Ixidron and knocking me to 3 that he missed just playing it on the unblocked creatures for the win. He then suddenly realized I had 9 power hitting back with the Aquamorph and was so frustrated about having a hand of off-colour cards that he quit in frustration.

Important lesson to the kids - never go on tilt. Especially against me - I may not have even seen the play!

So I get a gift win and I'm in to the second round. But this is 8-4, I know how this ends - with a loss in game 3 and crying into my drink.

Round 2, Game 1:

Do you keep this hand:

Gorgon Recluse, Ixidron, Mana Skimmer, Cradle to Grave, Island, Swamp, Swamp?

Of course you don't! The only spell you can play is reactive and may be useless. Two of your spells require two additional lands, and neither turns the game around. What are you thinking?

No idea. I know I kept, but I'm a sucker that way.

Three turns later I haven't drawn a fourth land and he Psychotic Episodes me. He has a choice of the Island on top of my deck, or the cards in my opening hand plus Mystical Teachings and Midnight Charm. He agonizes over this one for a while and I can't help but empathize. Of course, I'm also ranting at the monitor (the Armoire has wisely vacated at this point) about how if it's not LD, it's pseudo-LD via weird discard spells. I figure if he takes the Island, I'm screwed, but try to console myself that I always seem to draw lands in clumps, so maybe this is a good thing...

He takes the skimmer. I draw the Island and Teachings for Think Twice when he doesn't play anything. Teachings for Think Twice is not what you want to be doing, but my deck just didn't have good targets and a 3/1 flyer against Black-Red didn't seem optimal.

Another land puts the Gorgon in play against his Basal Sliver and suddenly this game is looking like a really interesting control match where I'm playing blue (so I win). He takes 2-3 minutes to plan out his next few turns and I eventually Teachings again for the Crookclaw and play it.

He slaps down Endrek Sahr. That's not good, especially if he was thinking a lot - it means he's optimizing the math. Ironically, I would have taken Endrek but I wasn't definitely in black at that point. I may have even taken the Crookclaw over it. He then uses Basal Slivers very aggressively to quickly bring out 11 thrulls.

The problem is that Ixidron is now useless as I don't want to turn the 1/1s into 2/2 morphs. Except, of course, that I'm an idiot and Ixidron doesn't affect morphs. Sigh...

Rule #2 - Read the cards in your hand. Moron.

I'm desperate to get Null Profusion in play and hopefully draw lots of blockers, but he Charms the 3/1 and it only takes two turns to beat me down.

So much for my control match advantage.

Game 2 and the usual question, would you keep this hand?

Nether Traitor, Mystical Teachings, Dark Withering, Island, Swamp, Swamp.

Of course you don't! You have a measly 1/1 threat and then no active plays until turn 5 at best. The Withering may even be a dead card (I already sideboarded out one of the Cradles for lack of targets).

So of course I keep. It had three lands, at this point I'm willing to sacrifice small children for any hand that has more than two but less than five lands.

Turn two Traitor, turn three suspend Mindstab and play Trickster face-up. How very convenient! I Teachings for Think Twice and then he makes his first error - he Orcish Cannonades the Traitor and then Charms the Trickster, allowing me to get the Traitor back. Not so good.

I'm struggling for a 5th land against Syphon-Mage and Spitting Sliver but luckily he's willing to trade the Mage for my off-the-top Mana Skimmer. He slaps down two more gray ogres (Channeler and another Mage) before Mindstab strips him of Soot and Tendrils. Ouch.

I then draw my fifth land and turn everybody into a morph. One of the best things about 1/1 shadow guys is when they turn into 2/2 blockers. He Soots my morph and trades a 2/2 and Riftbolt for my Gorgon, following it up with Basal sliver. But I slap down the almightly Grub and Think a second time into Cloudskate. The Traitor comes back when the Grub dies and the Cloudskate buys me the tempo I need to easily win it with three cards back to his none.

Game 3, where I traditionally lose it in gruesome fashion.

I of course keep my opening hand. But this time it's the right decision - Pit Keeper, Aphamorph, Null Profusion, Midnight Charm, two Swamps and an Island. Keeper, Grub, Morph and Charm on a Two-Headed Sliver means my first four turns are juicy. Turn five Riftwing puts him at 8 with only four lands in play while turn six sees my grub grow up into a Deadly Insect, which was actually annoying because it meant I missed out on 3 points of damage. Fury Sliver on the other side stops the Insect but I had waited a turn to play Null Profusion so I had two cards in hand.

He attacks me down to 13 with the Fury Sliver despite being at 4 life and facing a 2/2 flier and a 6/1 un-targetable. This is not good news - it means he's got something really good. Sure enough, Battering Sliver now gives him 14 points of trampling damage on-board versus my not-so-Deadly Insect. Luckily my draft MVP Ixidron had been drawn last turn so all is well as he and the Insect hold off the morphs while the Riftwing flies to victory!

That's right, VICTORY!

The guy in the finals split and my last three packs turned into six so I can draft once again.

What did I learn?

1) I should get paid to write these. "Drafting with Rich" my ass!
2) Nether Traitor isn't horrible. And it feels like sticking it to your opponent every time you bring it back.
3) Ixidron is very good in a deck with lots of weak creatures. It's also particularly good against Slivers. AND it doesn't affect tokens - don't forget that.
4) Magus of the Coffers is excellent for being a 4/4 for five mana in black.
5) The Gorgon is better than I've been thinking. I always used to play Basilisk, why do I keep thinking the Gorgon is only good for Madness?
6) Cradle to Grave is a hit. I'm playing them from now on.
7) Deadly Grub isn't that bad. It's got an efficient power/toughness ratio. It's not amazing, but I wouldn't be too ashamed to play it. I only wish I'd had a chance to get the Skulking Knight out and see what would have happened.
8) I spend more time writing these up than actually playing them. My admiration to any that actually made it through all of these!

Current Mood: delighted
Current Music: Michael Jackson - "Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough"
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06:36 pm

[Link]

Will The Pain Ever End?

Oh my god, I don't believe it happened again. One is going to start thinking I'm just horrible at this game.

On the plus side, Magic Online v3.0 won't work on my current computer, so perhaps my agony will be ended for me.

Opening pack I'm facing Sulfurous Blast, Castle Raptors and Stuffy Doll. Blast is the correct choice (I think), but I have come to HATE the Blast. It kills all your creatures, but doesn't always kill his. Once in a while it's amazing when you fall behind, often it's an even trade, and maybe it's three to the head. The Raptors are very, very solid.

I take the Blast anyway. Get passed foil Lightning Axe and a bunch more red cards. Don't really have a second colour so I go with blue and have a Kraken and some weak blue. Final build - mostly red with 10 Mountains and 7 Islands. I have Warrens and two Grapeshot to go with Whispers, Dead, Lightning Axe and Brute Force as just the 1cc spells, not to mention two Coal Stokers. My hope is to get storm synergy (two suspend guys) or fast attackers with some removal, or at worst, Sulfurous Blast once I've put out the Wildfire Emissary, Slipstream Serpent or Deep-Sea Kraken.

Game 1 I roll him. He's a 1601 ranking and I remove all his creatures and don't even need to pop the Kraken for the win. I miss my fourth land drop, but that's okay - my decks can handle that for a turn. Game end has me at 6 lands and 10 spells. I note that he's playing Havenwood Wurm.

Game 2 I should have mulliganed. I keep 3 mountains, 2 islands, Skycutter and Primal Plasma. I then throw away the Plasma when he has 7 mana untapped and I foolishly attack into Havenwood Wurm. I'm an idiot. He draws four slivers to my Mogg War Marshal and Ironclaw Buzzardiers and I get my but kicked with 10 lands and 6 spells, including an un-popped Kraken. I note that he actually has TWO Havenwood Wurms.

Game 3. Opening hand:

Coal Stoaker, Conflagrate, Synchronous Sliver, Ironclaw Buzzardiers, Snapback, Island, Island.

Do you keep?

Obviously not - even if you draw one of your ten mountains, you also need to draw lands 3, 4 and 5 to get your curve out. And the Stoker doesn't curve into anything if you play the Buzzardiers on turn 3. The removal is pricey or temporary - there's little to like about this hand.

So why did I keep it?

See game 2 - I'm an idiot. I was playing first and didn't want to risk getting screwed, which is stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have drawn against him, because my deck has a half-dozen cheap removal spells and can handle the rush of inadequate creatures.

Turn 1: Island
Turn 2: Island
Turn 3: Curse the Gods
Turn 4: Opponent asks why I'm upset with my draw as I discard Conflagrate.
Turn 5: Island, Snapback Mana Skimmer (LD always shows up at times like these!)
Turn 6: Begin writing LJ post in my head.
Turn 7: Island.
Turn 8: MOUNTAIN

His board is Mana Skimmer (tapping my Island) and Phantom Wurm. Amazingly, I'm not dead! I play Coal Stoker, Dead the Skimmer and Grapeshot the Wurm to 3/1. In response, he flashes in Havenwood Wurm. Oh well, so much for not being dead.

On his turn, Uktabi Drake joins the fun and Strength in Numbers finishes me off when I block! And of course from my opponent...

"Good Game".

Fuck You.

(Of course, I didn't actually say that, and it's not his fault at all, but I had to let it out for all of you who have always wanted to say it)

Final Tally - 9 spells, 5 lands, which just goes to show that the order they arrive in can often matter a lot more than how many actually appear. I'm heading back into the trenches because I'm on tilt - expect another update in about 45 minutes.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Green Day - "Basket Case"
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April 9th, 2007
09:57 pm

[Link]

The Pain Continues

Mere hours ago (read down a few inches, I'm too annoyed to properly link), I felt I got screwed by the mana/opponent gods in a Magic Online match. I'm sure I'm not the first to feel that way.

In an attempt to regain my sense of happiness with life, I absconded with the Armoire from Easter dinner at my parents so I could rush back and fit a draft in before bedtime.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

The MTGO client (not the server) crashes at the end of pack 2 so I never see what I could have taken first in the 3rd pack instead of an off-colour Spitting Sliver. I look forward to arguing with Customer Service and getting nothing.

The draft is a disaster with a money-drafted first pick Mystic Snake over Pulmonic Sliver followed by Looter over Plague Sliver. I take the Strangling Soot third as a possible splash and then grit my teeth with frustration for the next 25 picks as nothing but quality black and white cards come sailing through in both directions while I persist in trying to force the colours. The choice between Assassin and Tendrils 6th in pack two is particularly frustrating.

On the other hand, I do have the soft-lock option of Mystic Snake, Tolarian Sentinel, Reality Acid and Whispers. I also have two Dream Stalkers and a Wipe Away. But all the synergy in the world isn't going to overcome having only three creatures with a power greater than 2, two of which are 5-mana hill giants (though one has wings). I should definitely have abandoned green but I really didn't expect it to be cut in pack two after I starved it for the first 15 picks.

I deserved to lose in the first round, and I do. But it's how I lost that is so frustrating.

Game 1 we both mulligan and I get a reasonable draw of Looter, Shell-Dweller, Dismal Failure and Mystic Snake. Of course, he's playing reactive black/red so a Deathspore Thallid stares at my wall and a Dauthi Slayer smacks me around as I sit holding useless counterspells. Eventually I Wipe Away an Enslave and wait three turns to Acid the Slayer. This leaves me at 6 life with a board of Havenwood Wurm, Herd Gnarr and two Saprolings vs his 1/1 Thallid with 3 counters. He's at 9 life and dead in two turns without a really good answer.

Pardic Dragon

That's a really good answer. And no, for the wits among you, he did not suspend it.

No problem. In reviewing the game, there's nothing I could have done differently with the knowledge I had.

Game 2 has him giving away a card with a mulligan. I have a fantastic curve of Whispers, Spinneret Sliver, Thallid Germinator and Tolarian Sentinel. I'm holding Reality Acid and the potential to destroy all of his lands if the Sentinel lives, but Premature Burial, Assassinate and Lightning Axe (Madness Gorgon) means I've got an empty board instead.

Frustrating, but not entirely unexpected.

Except that now I'm holding two lands and Reality Acid vs. his three lands and a Gorgon.

Dream Stalker off the top puts the Gorgon away and I can't help but grumble as he stalled at three lands - if only the Sentinel had lived! Uktabi Drake hits at an optimal time and I'm pounding for three against nothing - I begin fretting about having enough time for game 3 after all the server lag.

Oh wait, all he needs is a creature to stop me. In this case, it's a Mana Skimmer that trades with the Drake and I see why the 1/5 half of the Acid combo isn't so good by himself (doubters feel free to chime in). He finally draws the fourth land and that allows him to lay Wildfire Emissary, Coal Stoker and Flowstone Channeler in rapid succession to my un-playable Strangling Soot. I draw Wipe Away and over the course of two turns use the Acid and the Wipe to destroy the Emissary. I then trade a Herd Gnarr for the Flowstone as he's just played a Deathspore, and an on-board -0/-2 option isn't something I want to face with my deck of weak creatures with nothing in hand to trigger the Gnarr. Dismal Failure keeps the 1/5 alive when he attempts to "Dead" it after combat, forcing Aetherflame Wall to be discarded.

MOTHERFUCKER.

Thank you Bill Gates for putting an option into Windows that wipes out everything you've typed and can't be un-done with CTRL-Z. When filled with rage, what I really want to do is re-type the last thousand words of my post.

I believe I'd rather be swallowed by a Sarlac then re-live these past two hours.

Sigh.

[/End Aside]

A second Dream Stalker lets me Acid the Deathspore and then slow Acid the Coal Stoker. A sideboarded Wistful Thinking dumps Enslave, Sulfurous Blast, Rathi Trapper and Swamp into his graveyard. Boy was that a good sideboarding decision after seeing all his reactive spells. I guess I'm "lucky" that he stranded the Enslave by only drawing 5 lands and 14 playable spells by turn 13. He draws Ib Halfheart and another Deathspore to my two lands thus putting me five lands ahead of him (or more accurately, 5 spells behind).

Bored yet?

Don't worry, it's over soon. My second land was a Swamp which allows me to Soot. I figure I can kill Ib Halfheart and get aggressive with my two 1/5s against his Deathspore and Saproling. This was probably a mistake as Ib wasn't threatening me, but I'm running out of solutions in my deck and want to get him low in life in case I don't draw the Havenwood Wurm. I also want to avoid a goblin swarm if he suddenly finds all his lands. Surprisingly, he still sacrifices his only two mountains for two goblins. I attack into his swarm and trade a 1/5 for the Thallid and Saproling.

In play, he now has 3 Swamps and two 1/1 goblins with a card in hand versus my 1/5 and 9 lands with a 10th sitting in hand. I have twice as many permanents in play.

Of the remaining 17 cards in his deck, 11 of them are lands.

Of the remaining 17 cards in my deck, 7 of them are lands.

So what do I draw?

That's right, Utopia Vow! Ha! Weren't expecting that, I bet!

He plays a Mountain and then a Swamp. And then draws Void for 2, randomly hitting the Vow along with the 1/5 so he can hit me to 11.

I have five turns to draw an answer to two 1/1s. Remember those three creatures I mentioned with a power higher than two? They're all still in my deck. So is the Spike Feeder and the Walk the Aeons (4 Islands in play) and Mystic Snake and the Looter. It's almost inconceivable that I could lose to two 1/1 vanilla creatures.

Forest. 9 life left.

Granted, a second Mountain gives him Pardic Dragon as an out, so it's not all upside.

Island. 7 life left.

Uh oh, there's that second Mountain. But no spells! He's finally drawing all his lands! I'm going to win!

Forest. 5 life left.

This isn't good. Where the heck are all my spells?

Swamp. 3 life left.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Looter.

Whew! I'm saved! Sure, I'm at 1 life, but I have 10 lands in play (and 4 in hand) and only 3 left in my 11 card library. Any two creatures gives me a chance!

Giant Dustwasp.

Loot.

Island.

Emit colourful euphamisms very loudly. Begin outraged LiveJournal posting.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Green Day - "Basket Case" (still)
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12:52 pm

[Link]

Sharing My Pain

Second round of the 8-4 queue. Game 3. I need a win to get my investment back and be in a good mood all week. I had just lost game 2 from parity by drawing 4 straight lands - suddenly a reasonable 9/6 spell/land is a 10/10 and I'm dead.

All I need is a reasonable draw, so of course...

15 spells, 3 lands.

Amusingly, I could have won the game with that - I had an agressive start and with so many spells I had all the tools I needed to survive and even win early.

Mwonvuli Acid Moss.

I haven't seen it in play since the first Pre-Release, but I was lucky enough to get a visit today. It's both mana acceleration and land destruction, what's not to like?

Ironically, I saw the Moss the previous game and pondered putting in an 18th land for Flickering Spirit which I drew. I had also taken out the Mindstab which was mostly useless versus his Green-Red because it seemed too lucky - if I drew it in my opening hand it would be fantastic, just like Mwonvuli Acid Moss, otherwise all the targets would be in play.

Very. Very. Frustrating.

But at least it didn't crash! And really, isn't that the unlikeliest thing about all of this?

Back to MOO2!

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Green Day - "Basket Case"
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March 18th, 2007
02:00 pm

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Pole Vaulting

I'm back from Egypt and have lots to say but with absolutely everyone asking about it, I'm a bit weary of the topic and ready to move on. In particular, I want to move on to Pole Vaulting.

I've done a variety of strange activities in my life, and I'm always looking to add to my list of new things. Just before leaving for Egypt I thought of Pole Vaulting. I find it fascinating to see people sail up on the pole and twist their bodies over the bar, but for the most part I just want to fly through the air and perhaps develop a bit of upper body strength. Bounding down the side of a huge sand dune in Jordan last week really brought home how exhilerating the feeling of flight is.

The problem? How to find a pole vaulting "clinic" where I could try it out and see what it's like. Pole Vaulting isn't a very mainstream sport - I don't see a lot of recreational pole vaulters wandering around (likely because everyone would hit them with, "...or are you just glad to see me?"). It's one of the few "sports" that no one seems to do for fun, though that seems to include many of the track and field competitions. Shot put or hurdles anyone?

So how do I find out about local (Toronto) pole vaulting groups or sessions? Any suggestions or advice?

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: The Beatles - "Twist and Shout"
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February 16th, 2007
08:06 pm

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Vacation!

A very quick update before I rush back to conquering the galaxy...

1) We evicted the not-so-ex con, alcoholic tenant! And by evicted I mean, he "disappeared" two weeks ago and I give a 70/20/10 change he's skipped town/gone to prison/wearing cement shoes courtesy of his loan shark.

Needless to say, there's much to tell about this, but I don't have the time. Imagine going into your basement and finding used Q-tips, wastebaskets stuck to the floor with dried urine, cigarette burns in all the carpets, the fire alarms disabled, and food lying out on the counter after several days. It wasn't pretty. The high point - my mom opening up the bathroom vanity and finding used Depends. Please take as many moments as you'd like to enjoy that image.

2) We got a new tenant! He's already destroyed the ceiling in the basement stairwell, but that was in an attempt to get his bed frame down our narrow steps. Anyone know anything about plastering and fixing bent drywall frames?

On the plus side, he took possession immediately and paid with a certified cheque. As that is the first rent cheque I've seen in four months, I'm a happy camper. He also doesn't have a criminal record, a smoking habit or a coke-sniffing heroin-addicted girlfriend. These are big plusses.

3) We're going to Egypt for a month! That's right, the land of the ancients is beckoning and I can't resist the siren call of deserts and ancient buildings. I've always wanted to go and it's finally happening! My sister is amidst a seven month trek through Western and Northern Africa, so the Armoire and I will meet up with her and backpack around. We have no idea where we're staying or what our exact plan is, but I expect we'll have a fantastic time. Did you know that as a foreigner in certain towns in middle Egypt, they assign you an army officer as soon as you arrive? Or that between certain towns you can only travel in armed convoy? I'm really excited by this. The Armoire has already said she won't bail me out - can you even get bail in an Egyptian prison?

That's it for now. You've just heard all my small talk for the past month of cocktail parties. It seems less interesting (different interesting?) than being backstage at a fashion show or attending a clothing-free modern dance extravaganza? (and those are just the stories that were fit to print) I fear I've become quite domesticated and "normal", but I'm keeping an open mind as the benefits are apparently quite generous!

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Bangles - "Walk Like An Egyptian" (what else could it be?)

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February 4th, 2007
11:51 am

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Im'media'te Gratification

Every week the good folks at Sitemeter send me an email with "eyeclicks" data for this very website. It mostly looks like this:

              The Beginning Of My Ascendance                

                    -- Site Summary ---                     
          Visits

            Total ........................ 1,085            
            Average per Day .................. 2            
            Average Visit Length .......... 0:03            
            This Week ....................... 16            

          Page Views

            Total ........................ 1,217            
            Average per Day .................. 2            
            Average per Visit .............. 1.1            
            This Week ....................... 17
Needless to say, the 0:03 visit length, which I've always assumed was in seconds, is not very inspiring.

Hmm...I've just realized that the entire purpose of this post, which was to bemoan the 3-second visits (sounds like the Armoire's love life!), has now been made moot as it's now clear to me that it's probably 3 minutes and that's not so bad (though if you punched through the recent stocks and video game updates in under three minutes, you're just skimming). This has been happening to me frequently lately, both here and in real life (ie, the office). I invest a bunch of time in writing a post or email only to realize it's totally unnecessary halfway through. I then waste even more time trying to figure out if I can still use what I've written because despite my years of half-hearted economics training, I'm still bedeviled by a reluctance to abandon sunk costs. Often the answer is no. Sometimes I still make a go of it, and you're forced to waste 10 seconds of your 3-minute visit reading this last paragraph.

Three minutes is actually higher than usual - mostly it's just one. Presumably because Sitemeter doesn't have the heart to say, "you're not posting very often, when you do, your writing is trite and unamusing, and people wouldn't visit at all if they didn't keep making typos when entering urls" and instead rounds up by about 59 seconds a visit.

All that being said - in general, do you find that you enjoy shorter posts more than long? Remember, this is only "in general" - my posts aren't going to change based on the whims of a fickle audience so there's no point in telling me how they're all the perfect size (sounds like the Armoire's love life!) The media would have us believe that our attention spans are shortening, and I can only presume that blogs and their bite-sized portions are contributing to it, but I know my readers are of above average intelligence and education, so I want to know their opinion.

In fact, the original idea behind this post was a quickie (sounds like the Armoire's love life!) - one line asking, "Do short posts get more responses than long ones?" but I seem incapable of self-control (sounds like the...oh you get the point) in my writing. Unless, of course, I'm drunk.

Current Mood: curt
Current Music: Jean Knight - "Mr. Big Stuff"

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January 31st, 2007
12:35 pm

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House Poor In More Ways Than One...

Last May I mentioned how much money I had already lost by selling stocks early to purchase my new house.

I thought I'd take another look at the damage because, well, I'm a bit of a masochist that way.

Here are the three stocks I covered back in May:

MMM (Three M) for $72.87
CL (Colgate-Palmolive) for $55.50
ADS (Consumer Loyalty Programs (eg. Air Miles) for $45.99

Back in May they were already worth:

MMM $87.01 (up $14.14)
CL $60.35 (up $4.85)
ADS $53.75 (up $7.76)

And now in January (yesterday's closing price), we see:

MMM $74.70   (+$   366 USD on 200 shares)
CL $67.42    (+$ 2,384 USD on 200 shares)
ADS $67.00   (+$10,505 USD on 500 shares)
Sigh. And of course, the US dollar has finally started going up against the Canadian, so I would have profited on that side as well.

On the plus side, I was totally incorrect about Workbrain, a stock I sold for $13.40 that now struggles at $10.81 - I'm $2,590 CAD richer for fleeing the stock. Had you followed the "invest in whatever Matt sells" advice, you'd have suffered a 15% loss. I can't even be right about being wrong!

Perhaps I did better with the stocks I sold closer to my June closing date? Not a chance. I was particularly stung by a recent comment in a local business magazine empathizing with those poor souls who liquidated in June only to miss out on the boom in stock prices in the latter half the year. Here are my other holdings that are now gone:

400 shares of MacDonald Dettweiler and Assoc. (MDA):     Sold $45.83   Current $49.00   (+$1,268)
300 shares of Manitoba Telecom (MBA):                    Sold $45.84   Current $47.00   (+$  348)
400 shares of Royal Bank (RY):                           Sold $45.00   Current $54.46   (+$3,784)
300 shares of Budweisser (BUD):                          Sold $45.09   Current $51.00   (+$1,773 USD)
200 shares of Microsoft (MSFT):                          Sold $22.02   Current $30.48   (+$1,692 USD)
500 shares of Paladin Labe (PLB):                        Sold $ 7.80   Current $11.20   (+$1,700)
300 shares of Triant Technologies (TNT):                 Sold $ 0.57   Current $ 2.33   (+$  528)

And one lucky one:

500 shares of Epcor Power LP investment trust (EP):      Sold $33.45   Current $26.62   (-$3,415)
Net: Roughly $8,200 less than if I had kept everything. And I actually sold Epcor Power after I bought the house (it was in my retirement account and couldn't be accessed) because recent performance was due to the high price in Natural Gas (which had collapsed) and a lot of revenue was dependent on the US Dollar (which I still don't trust). A rational call that was actually correct! Thus I'm actually out $11,500.

I should note, I still sold all but two of these at a profit, it just wasn't as much profit as I would have liked. The Royal Bank in particular is painful as it had just dipped from $50+ when I sold and Canadian bank stocks rarely stay down for long.

Now, one could argue that the return on my $650K house in the past six months may greatly exceed $11,500, or roughly 3.5% annualized. I have to admit, that's not entirely unreasonable, and I wouldn't accept an offer of $661,500 for the house if it was given to me. And I did keep hold of H&R Real Estate Investment Trust which has not only increased greatly to $25 from the $14 I purchased 1500 shares at many years ago, but has also been offering 5-8% returns in distributions for the past five years. Hopefully in six months you won't be reading about the collapse of the Canadian real estate market!

Wait a sec...I forgot to include those first three stocks at the top! Using the same 1.15 exchange rate, suddenly we're out an additional $15,000! That's not good as now my house had better have returned $53,000 or 8%. That's a bit trickier. And don't get me started on the $9,000 in interest I've already paid - luckily I get rent from my tenant to help cover that...oh wait, it appears that I don't.

What to conclude? Not much. I'm probably slightly worse off for purchasing a house, but I really have enjoyed living here (vists from the police notwithstanding). But now I've got some free cash again (retirement fund) and I need to invest! Do I dare? Or should I grab the first money market fund I can find and hide?

Current Mood: uncertain
Current Music: The Rolling Stone - "Paint it Black"
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January 30th, 2007
08:24 pm

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*Still* No Longer Computes...Or Does It?

Last April I mentioned how I was going to write more frequently by sacrificing a bit of quality. I didn't really do that.

In that same post, I also mentioned how I had turned to video games to alleviate the boredom of only being paid to work three days a week. I was back up to five for the latter half of the year but the money well has once again gone dry. Last year boredom took over three months to arrive. This year I'm ready to rant in late January. A bad sign.

And what are we ranting about? That's right, old video games. A man has to play to his audience, and 14 comments back in April says my viewing public loves stories about computers. Of course, almost every post that isn't about Magic gets about a dozen comments, so mostly people aren't picky so much as desperate for me to write something they can distract themselves with for a few seconds. I revel in your attention.

Back in April (check link above), I was having difficulty playing older games on my 1999 computer because it was too new. But I was also having trouble playing movies of Paris Hilton because my computer was too old. Rock. Hard Place. Only Panzer General II kept me from going mad and purchasing a new computer before this one had properly aged.

In June, noted Canadian Magic personality Gary Krakower was cleaning out his apartment and passed me two boxes of mid to late nineties video games that he had accumulated and no longer wished to play. Included in this treasure trove was Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, a game that I, a long time Civilization master, very much wished to play. Over the past six months, the Armoire has come to despite Alpha Centauri for sucking me away from what she feels are more things such as eating and sex. Can't the women see that millions of lives depend on my ability to micromanage their society into perfection? What is mere sensual pleasure when faced with that kind of responsibility?

[Pause to lick freshly baked cornbread crumbs out of the wrapper - the Armoire is baking!]

Having finally tired of Alpha Centauri (for now), I decided to investigate some of the other games that had been passed along to me. Here now are the trials and tribulations of attempting to play older video games, part II:

1) Star Command (1988)

Okay, this one is from WAY back - it came with both 3 1/2" and 5 1/4" diskettes! It was a holiday gift from my mother and ran on her original XT. I had fond memories of the game except I could never finish it due to a frustrating lock that I couldn't find the combination for. I was determined to play it again and defeat it with my much more experienced adult brain. The Armoire suggested just looking it up on the 'net, but I was certain that no one would have written about a game that was almost 20 years old.

I install the game with no problem and spend two hours creating characters and reviewing the manual. Five minutes later I turn it off and put it in the "Garage Sale" bin. I can handle text-only games - I played Rogue for years - but what I apparently cannot handle is really crappy EGA graphics. It was a bunch of dots and triangles and bad images - painful to the eyes. Apparently you can't ever go back again.

Next!

(Demonstrating the common-sense brilliance of the Armoire, further research revealed a complete walkthrough of the game that still didn't include how to discover the combination - perhaps one was supposed to guess?]

2) MYST (1995)

Myst was at one point the most popular video game of all time, especially among the ladies (quite an accomplishment). As an avid fan of sudokus, perhaps the Armoire and I could even puzzle it out together?

Not a chance. Myst requires Quicktime 2.0. Apple is currently infecting the world with Quicktime 7.1.3 which isn't supported for Windows 98. Quicktime Alternative, a substitute I found on the 'net, doesn't really work that well in general, and can't handle it.

Luckily, Myst actually comes with Quicktime 2.0 on the CD! Unluckily, it crashes when it attempts to install on my computer. I can wander the Myst world, but not view any of the video sequences which are apparently key to solving the problems. Off to the garage sale!

3) Master of Magic (1994)

After colonizing space for six months, as well as building characters for my ill-fated Star Command voyage, I was keen to try out a good old fantasy-based game. The manuals were thick and there was even a separate spell book! Master of Magic appeared to be the perfect combination of Civilization and Dungeons and Dragons.

It also required a whopping 2700KB of memory. Sure, my system has 384000KB of memory, but thanks to Bill Gates and the early DOS programmers, Master of Magic can't find any of it. A search of the 'net shows that many have suffered from this problem and the solutions range from creating and using a boot disk (I roll my eyes in disgust) to using a software program called DOSBox that will emulate a really old computer with messed up memory.

And it did exactly that, in a very small window at a speed it promised would be slightly faster than "glacial". I have a 19" monitor for a reason, and that reason is not to play video games slowly in a very small window. To the bin!

(and don't get me started on how I had to insert seven floppy disks to load the game - boy did *that* bring back memories...)

4) Master of Orion II - Battle At Antares (1996)

While researching Master of Magic solutions, I noted many references to Master of Orion being a later space-based version of the same game with an extremely large following. While a bit tired of space, at this point I just wanted to play something so I loaded it up. Having learned from my earlier mishaps, I decided to make sure it worked before wasting time reading about the game.

It installed. It worked. It looked incredibly rich with detail and subtle nuance - the sort of game that I could waste months of my life playing.

It also didn't have a manual.

See, I'm a guy that likes reading the manual. Not for me the rushing into the tutorial and the "I'll figure it out" mindset. I'm a cold calculating kind of guy who wants to know all of his options before he whips out his keyboard and begins the mesmerizing dance of the bits. Master of Orion II is not Doom (if I may date myself) where you pretty much shoot at everything and you've figured out the game, MOO II (as it's affectionately known by fans) is a complex multi-tiered game with a dozen different aspects listed just on the back of the box!

I search the 'net for documentation and as before, find nothing. Except for that one fortuitous time that I found the manuals for PG II, I've never been able to find good honest game documentation online. Quite frankly, even the so-called "strategy" guides look to be mostly written by teenage amateurs. I turn up my nose in disgust at what passes for Civilization and Alpha Centauri "strategy"! (I just had to get that out - I would so own those punks!)

5) Black and White (2001)

In frustration, I cheat and time travel to the next millenium where everyone has lots of memory and manuals actually exist. With a game that's actually younger younger than my computer, I now run the slightly different risk of insufficient resources, but I'm willing to take that chance if only I can actually start to play something!

I quickly flip through the manual while it is installing from the CD and see that you play the role of god. Good stuff, I'll be in my element. There's building of societies of worshippers, I like that. You fight other gods and their peoples, excellent. But there's a disturbing amount of excitement relating to training your "creature"...

Yup - Black and White, from what I could tell, is basically a pet-training game. Slap your monkey when it misbehaves. Stroke your monkey when it does good. Roll on your side with laughter at the funny monkey jokes. Do I really want to spend dozens of hours training a pet?

The answer is an emphatic "no". Especially when the interface was incredibly counter-intuitive. Move the mouse backwards to go forwards, move it up to go down, rotate it to the right to turn left, but if you move it straight right you'll sidle...right. While attempting to simply maneouver around to accomplish the simplest of tutorial missions, I got so frustrated I began yelling and throwing things.

Fun, I did not have. Play game, I did not.

6) Total Annihilation (1997)

Total Annihilation appears to have been on the cutting edge of multi-player play with much of the manual dedicated to connecting with a friend over a modem line. I chuckle at their primitive technology. But it did at least have a manual and it even installed properly!

Quick perusal of the manual indicated that the game was relatively simple and unfortunately centered on real-time play. If you'll recall from MOO II above, I'm a cold, calculatin' guy. When playing Railroad Tycoon I and II I would spend hours planning out routes and managing my trains only to actually turn on the game for 15-30 seconds before pausing and re-analyzing the entire situation. Watching me play games is rarely a captivating spectator sport.

But I was desperate. With only one more new game available, it was looking like I'd have to go back to Magic Online, and we all know that that won't turn out well. So I started up a campaign (by inserting CD#2 - why can't I ever just load everything onto my 80GB harddrive?).

Thirty seconds later, I had won the first scenario.

Granted, I didn't actually do anything except tell my dozen units to go North, but apparently that's all it took. They blew some stuff up, apparently some of them blew up, and half a minute later I was guarding the portal and being awarded points.

Hoping for a bit more interactivity, I reviewed the manual and found the pause button. I also found the button for "game speed". Starting again, I immediately froze the game and looked over my units. I examined the terrain, assigned the units different approaches to the target with the fast units scouting ahead and the heavier and long-range weaponry providing cover. Releasing the pause, I would allow small amounts of movement forward until an enemy was sighted, at which point all my commands would change and the target destroyed. Five minutes later, I won the scenario again, this time with one fewer loss and two fewer kills.

And I felt totally irrelevant. The only reason I won is that halfway through, I gave up on the specific orders and just had everyone rush the target again.

A game that wins without me is a game that doesn't need playing.

(At this point, I'm beginning to realize that beyond having them "actually work", I'm apparently quite particular when it comes to video games)

7) X-Com Apocalypse (1997)

"Help me X-Com Apocalypse, you're my only hope..."

I'm not sure what to make of X-Com Apocalypse. It's a space game, which isn't great, and while it offers turn-based combat, it seems to favour experiencing "blazing action with the incredible new real-time combat system" which we know I won't like. The manual is a flimsy little booklet called the "Rookies' Guide" which has me wondering just how engrossing it can be, but first we have to check if it works.

It does! It detects and tests my sound card successfully and we're ready to go. Did I want to read the "readme.txt" first? Why of course I did - you always want to be up on the latest changes. Luckily I did or I never would have noticed the correction to page 146 of the manual.

Pardon me? Page 146?

That's right - it appears that what I'm holding is "flavour" writing, the actual manual is a 150+ page behemoth of rules that must be read before one can play.

[insert anguished scream here]

I flee the computer in disappoinment and report my failure to the Armoire. She immediately begins baking cornbread to ease my pain. Best. Girlfriend. Ever.

Epilogue

Still with me? Good - for once things start looking up!

Thinking that X-Com Apocalypse may be recent enough to have a manual online, I do another search. One of the FAQs for the game LINKS ME TO THE MOTHERLODE:

A Website That Contains Nothing But Old Computer Game Manuals!

I am now a happy person.

Current Mood: irrationally exuberant
Current Music: Madonna - "Ray Of Light"
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January 12th, 2007
10:39 pm

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Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

I was chatting with a good friend mere moments ago and he had an inspiring analogy that I will paraphrase and likely enrage slightly more than half of you with...

"Women" he said, "are like snowflakes. Beautiful and unique, with many a poem and song written about them."

"And from a distance, they all look the same; they quickly disappear; and there are millions more where that one came from. Did I mention they have tend to have pointy edges?"

No need to rush ladies, this buff romantic might be single for a while!

In other news, I'm a bit too tired to write about the things I've wanted to expound on for months now (books, classical music), but not in the mood for other forms of entertainment. I could regale you with how I bought twenty-five pounds of dirt yesterday for my nigh one hundred houseplants, but it lacks the gripping drama of a true epic, so perhaps that one is best left for local friends that lack a "Back" button.

I've decided to head off to Egypt with the Armoire next month and meet up with my sister who is heading into her final 18 weeks of travelling Northern Africa. I'm still reading the guides, but it looks like it will be fun as I love old ruins and deserts and they have plenty of both. Given the paucity of updates recently, I'd be surprised if you noticed I was missing!

Those of you who check out my User Info will see that I've updated my schools. In a late night surfing adventure, I looked up my various alma maters only to discover that I'm a spoiled private school brat! Until I was seven years old I attended what I thought was a regular school but has since turned into a $16,000 a year high-class elementary school with uniforms. All these years I've been pleading unfairness to mom for sending my littlest brother (17 years my junior) to UCC, the swankiest private school in town, while my sister and I enjoyed the public system. Little did I know that we've all suckled at the same spoiled rich kid teat! I have since noticed that it is much easier to look down on someone with your nose slightly in the air...

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Frosty The Snowman" - Steve 'Jack' Rollins & Steve Nelson
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December 13th, 2006
10:31 pm

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Current Events

Another relatively un-creative "update" post for those of you complaining I don't update (the number is shrinking, likely out of a lack of concern as I gradually drift away with the tide of life - woe is me!)

I've been a bit distracted by the tenant that came with my new house. When the Armoire gave up her lovely downtown condo to move in and prevent me from using my lovely wainscotted dining room as an office by insisting we would eat there (we did - once!), she found herself a tenant the "correct" way - by thoroughly checking references and doing credit checks and getting post-dated cheques and so on. By the book.

Despite my love of reading, I, on the other hand, was a bit looser on the restrictions and checking. The previous owner vouched for my tenant who he used to employ, and he seemed very quiet and friendly despite a once in a while enjoying a touch of weed (while my mom was over). He is a renovator who actually helped build my basement, so I figured the tenant even came with free fixin'! (not a minor thing when one is more software inclined than hard)

Little did I know.

You know those movies where the innocent and quiet guy turns out to be the serial killer?

Well, he hasn't killed anyone. Yet. That we know of. But some people have gone missing.

It turns out my tenant has a bit of a drinking problem. And a bit of a prison problem. By that I mean he's been to prison and last month got to go back and visit for a spell after violating a restraining order. In fact, the cops have been by the house four different times now, and twice we've had an ambulance with all the lights blaring. Once, my tenant's girlfriend got taken away in restraints while screaming at the top of her lungs, the other time she got taken away in handcuffs. They found her hiding naked in the closet clutching a bottle of vodka. She has a coke problem. Notice the small "c". She also has a problem making it through rehab. Or not stealing alcohol (but leaving the empty bottles with the caps on to fool us!) She's set fires in her past. She also has restraining orders against her.

Did I mention she's 59 years old? It's quite the pretty picture.

A loanshark that has offered to "help" evict my tenant. He's shown particular interest in the flat screen TV downstairs (I exaggerate only slightly). This offer was very tempting, but I've gone with the "triple eviction notices" plan instead. But as it is the two months before the holidays, evictions are impossible to get (and very expensive). I haven't collected rent since October, and I'm not sure I ever will (though I have a far-off hope that my tenant is telling the truth that he'll cover it when he can).

As you can imagine, it's been a bit tricky to find time for posting (or reading - let me know if anything particularly exciting has been happening in your life).

I'm also trying to squeeze 300 hours of contract time into November and December, which works out to 8 hours a day since I keep taking off for Magic tournaments and the like. I realize that this sounds "normal" for most of you, but I was doing three days a week for a year starting last July, and before that it was a rare month that saw me in the office for more than 100 hours. Both my Magic and video game lives are taking a hit, not to mention the "making time for romance" department! You don't want to know what I'm passing up right now to write and proofread this!

I did, however, finally purchase a bed so that the Armoire and I can share a boudoir (though I just looked it up and realize that it technically means "a woman's bedroom or private sitting room"). It cost upwards of four thousand dollars (mostly a gift!), but after five months of searching, we finally found the king-sized memory foam mattress that promised endless nights of sleep-filled bliss. It hasn't actually done any of that, of course, as the bed just doesn't feel the same here in the house as it did in the store. And having lived alone for over a decade, every time my sleeping ears hear another person they immediately assume there's a burglar and startle awake. (Numerous amorous adventures notwithstanding, I haven't slept well when sharing a mattress since the mid-90s) But the sentiment is good, except now I have to awake early because her loveliness likes to show up to work on time. Crankiness abounds.

In Magic, I came in 10th at PTQ on Saturday. I have an article on Magic theory writing itself in my head, but I suspect my usual employer has scheduled all the available spots until late Spring, so my head is where it will stay. I'm not particulary enthused about the game these past few weeks - I suspect it relates to Magic Online being a dog since last month and crashing every night. Thus a trip to Rochester or Detroit this weekend seems unlikely, especially as it conflicts with two holiday parties with open bars!

Speaking of parties, we held our annual holiday party on Saturday evening and as usual, the 16-year old Santa was a big hit with the ladies. My apologies if you weren't invited - things were a bit hectic (and quite frankly, I didn't even think of it). We had hoped to hit our 100-person guest limit but again were frustrated in the low 70s so I would have been happy to have more people eating all the food. Being coupled up really does cost you a lot of friends as we added a 4th host who invited 150 people and still barely met last year's numbers. I would have killed for these parties when I was single!

And before you think that all is complaining and woe, my job is going well. I'm enjoying the work, the expanded responsibilities and relationships, and I'm really making up for that lost rental income. Not sure if there's a long-term future in it, but I've been saying that for eight years now and it's getting better every year. I can only hope this continues!

[EDIT: It appears that not only am I not writing scintillating prose, I'm writing it twice! It's been so long since I last updated that I didn't realize I'd already covered some of this back in October. How embarrassing. Speaking of which, I know I didn't mention how the Armoire asked me how to spell my first name last month after only 26 months of dating. I guess the drugs finally wore off!]

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: Elvis Presley - "Jailhouse Rock"

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October 26th, 2006
11:22 pm

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Stuff

I keep trying to use this journal as a venue for witty little articles and keeping my writing skills sharp, but I seem to have failed in that miserably since I moved to the new house. And I half-way suspect that what people *really* want to read are the random details of my life (because then they don't actually have to talk to me to know what's going on) and the odd Magic story (because there are so many of you out there).

Since I'm suffering from post-trip jet-lag, I'll update you on a couple of things (It's like I'm doing you a favour, but not!)

1. I went to Japan last weekend. I needed to win 4 of my first 6 matches and I lost the 6th one to end up 3-3. No $40,000 first prize for me. I then won a GPT on Saturday (smaller tournament) and then went 0-2 on Sunday at the PTQ (another tournament - they all have cool (?) acronyms like that). But I think I learned a lot, and I'm pretty sure I deserved to lose that 6th round, which is something you almost never hear from Magic players ("I was so unlucky!").

2. How was Japan? Boring. Japan, and Kobe in particular, don't hold a lot of interest for me. The culture doesn't fascinate me (it creeps me out a bit - way too many people on way too small an island), the historical buildings are all re-built imitations (result of earthquakes), and the food tends to be cold, slimy and tasteless (and un-satisfying portions). It was my 4th visit to Japan and unlike Europe, which grew on me after the first few looks, Japan remains flat. We were desperately trying to find something to do for 5-6 hours on Monday before we flew home. Any place that is that difficult to find fun in, isn't compelling.

3. My job? It's going okay. I've been working 5 days a week since July which is good because it means I'm flush with green and able to pay off my mortgage faster (while still responsibly topping up my RRSP). But after a year of working 3-4 days a week, it's taking quite a bit to get used to, which I didn't expect. Suddenly I have a lot less time just when I'm playing more Magic which gives the short straw to...

4. My relationship? Fantastic! My theory was that by moving in together, we'd have more time together and less time wasted travelling, or killing time at each other's place for a net gain on video game/Magic playing. It apparently doesn't work that way, and no one thought to let me know. I am certainly getting a better understanding of my married friends. The Armoire remains the most spectacular woman - she's incredibly patient and treats me incredibly well and I'm lucky to have her. I can be quite the selfish ass at times (surprise, surprise!), I'm anal, I'm overly critical, and yet she tolerates me. I'm that good in bed...

5. Okay fine, I'm not really that good in bed (you'll never know!) but I'm apparently fairly amusing. She makes me dinner, I make her laugh, and all is well. At least, I hope it is - sometimes her grins seems a bit forced. I can certainly see how one can begin to take your partner for granted. Now that she's hear for every meal, why would we go out for dinner? See a movie? But we can rent a video! Or better yet, just cuddle for a few minutes and then I can get back to what I was doing...

6. The house? Don't get me started on the house! If I thought relationships were easy, I at least knew the worst-case scenario for having tenants. Unfortunately I also seem to be living it (as opposed to The Armoire who rented our her condo to an absolutely wonderful woman who causes no trouble at all). The cops have only had to visit once to resolve a dispute between my tenant and his girlfriend, but boy is that not the way you want to meet the neighbours. The fighting and yelling and stealing of alcohol (oh yes, there was stealing of alcohol) has made it quite the dramatic living. Not so bad most of the time, but I can't say I'm really lovin' it.

7. Overall? I'm becoming a normal person. I have a full-time job (kind of), a house, a steady girlfriend - my (slightly?) wild and unpredictable life has become a little too average. There's nothing in particular I want to change about it, but I'm also fairly disturbed that I can pretty much spell out the next 20 years of my life. Anyone with a wife, house and job want to provide some insight? I had a bit of a mid-life crisis at 30 (thank goodness!) so I'm not sure I'm ready for another one just a few years later!

Current Mood: weary
Current Music: Evanescence - "Bring Me To Life"

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September 16th, 2006
09:52 pm

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Frustration Part 3

This is the final part of an unintended trilogy into how badly I lose at Magic. For your viewing pleasure, it also contains pictures. Well, it should, we'll see how this goes.

It was a pleasant if not sunny day in our hero's village as he returned from excavating a friend's front lawn for later installation of interlocking brick for his princess. Filled with thoughts of satisfaction after a solid couple of hours of work and a frothy beverage, he was excitedly looking forward to drafting his favourite format in nigh half a decade - Ravnica, Guildpact and Dissension.

[SNAP]

Wha? Huh? Oh, sorry, you just want the ranting...

The draft starts off with some questions, as they always do. I take an opening pick Snapping Drake and get passed Dismisser, Cleansing Beam, Groodian and Doubling Season. I've been desperate for kill after losing earlier today because I had no removal. I'm really trying to avoid Black-Green because it's a recipe for destruction, but I don't trust the Doubling Season. It's supposed to be amazing, but then I'm forced into UG and I'm not certain it's as good as the hype. Dismisser is solid, keeps me in blue, which I both hate and love at the same time.

I get passed ANOTHER Cleansing Beam, but this one is foil. How can I resist? I take it and pass the Bramble Elemental.

Now I'm looking at Mossdog or Dimir Signet. A critical junction. Do I go with the GUr on a Mossdog? Or do I keep my options open for three or four colours with the expectation of black-red or black-blue-white (splash red) later?

The thing is, the Mossdog is really going downhill in value for me - the 4-slot is so busy that I'm always trying to avoid it when I can. And 3/3 for 4 is no big party if I end up in green - I always seem to have lots of them later on. I believe I make the first mistake of the draft here, but I'm thinking that no white or black has gone by, maybe Orzhov will be waiting in pack two since he's likely to take RG downstream and probably splash all the good blue cards. What? This doesn't make sense if I'm already RU? Granted, but I wasn't sure red (or blue) would keep coming.

Seige Wurm. Sigh. Again, it's not as good as it used to be - GG is a pain - but a 5/5 is no slouch. I'm certainly not jumping into Green now and I think I take a Griffin or Sprite. Or maybe an Oaf? Either way, I get those three cards in the last few picks of Ravnica. I see no black and only the one white card which gets me thinking that UW will be cut off in the final pack (of course it wasn't, black-red was).

Gelectrode is the first option in Guildpact over Shrieking Grotesque. Then I get Streetbreaker or Wee Dragonauts or Train of Thought. Woo. The rare is missing so the Streetbreaker is a false signal and I take the Train.

Many picks later I'm looking at two Hypervolt Grasps, Bloodscale Prowler (late), Wee Dragonauts (it tabled), Izzet Guildmage, Torch Drake, Orzhov Signet, Goblin Flectomancer and Biomantic Mastery which sucks the big one because RU decks don't really stall like GU or UW decks.

Essentially, a lot of mediocre cards with a pinging theme - I just need creatures and time. And I'm set up perfectly to go either UW or BR in the final pack, though I'm hoping for BR.

First pick - Rakdos Guildmage! Some love!

And that's about it. Pick four gives me a Sky Hussar, the amazing card for everyone else that immediately tells me I'm going to lose without winning any packs. That was foreshadowing by the way.

I have two Azorious First-Wing which works great with my plan of pinging enchantments. Some blue Eidolons which would be okay with my 8+ gold cards if I didn't already have lots of 2/2s for four, some mana-fixing, and Trygon Predator that I hated really late because I have three signets and why the heck not?

Oh yes, I mistakenly took Aethermage's Touch because I mis-read it. I mean, that was a "You Make The Card" winner, how could it not be really good? Sigh...

In hindsight, and I like that writing this out helps, I'm drafting like a fool. I keep pushing solid 2-colour decks and leaving myself high and dry in pack three. I'm not thinking ahead to navigate the packs correctly, and it's costing me. I hadn't realized until now just how few Dissension cards made it in my deck, and they're the most powerful!

Either way, my deck seemed okay - fliers, repeating removal with some card drawing. I was worried about big green creatures because I didn't have a lot of answers (I should have taken a Plume over a First-Wing, but again, I'm just not thinking straight at this point) and in another bit of foreshadowing, my fears were well-placed. It seems that when I'm ready for big creatures, I lose to fast flying decks. When I'm reading for fast flying decks, the giants come to play.

Game one sees the first of the mulligans. Earlier in the day I had mulligan'd repeatedly in the first two games so I went up to 16 lands (plus Utopia Sprawl, signet, wayfinder, 2 CIP lands and Silkwing Scout) and then drew too much. I'm too emotional and afraid at this point - send me to a draft format where I can play 17 lands and not think about it anymore!

I keep Island, Island, Mountain, Izzet Biolerworks, Train of Thought, Biomantic Mastery and Sky Hussar. It's a horrible hand, but when going first with six cards, you take what you can get.

By my turn four, he already has Spider and Mossdog (that I passed, I'm sure) out and ready to attack. I'm looking at 4 mana and nothing in play because I held the Train to get an extra card (it didn't matter, but still was a mistake). I've got the Train, and a UW Signet, Cleansing Beam, a new land and Hypervolt Grasp. A hand that's going nowhere.

His turn 4 Streetbreaker Wurm trades with my by best card (the Hussar) and despite wiping out two creatures with the Beam, the Mossdog finishes me off as I don't miss a land drop and play two signets to round out the flood. I've taken a picture of what would have ended up being a 5 spell, 11 mana sources game:

Getting Owned In Game 1

Oh, did I not mention he had Niv-Mizzet in play on turn six?

Of course, the Niv-Mizzet was a UU splash as a fourth colour in his Black-Green deck. He defended by saying it was his "only blue card". Yeah, that's the ticket. [<-- Dated reference showing just how many birthdays I was "celebrating" last week]

On to game 2.

I keep Island, Island, Island, Mountain, Azorious Signet, Eidolon, Grasp.

It's a horrible hand and I'm going first, but as we said, I'm deathly afraid of mulligans, and at least this way I get out a 2/2 on turn three!

Not only do I get out the Eidolon, I Grasp it up and kill his turn three Vesper Ghoul as a Spider beats me down. I then then try and get fancy after Dismissing his Pit-Skulk and ping off all his guys by moving the Grasp around. Of course, that takes 5 mana so I'm giving up my turns in order to kill 2/2s that cost him one or two mana as he builds towards giant wurms.

Of course I win this one by beating down with Rakdos Guildmage and 2/1 goblin tokens (no black mana for me). He kills the Grasp with a Wrecking Ball, and it's a bit tense when I use Beam and Riot Spikes to kill a 2/2 and Streetbreaker Wurm, but it appears that with three Forests and 2 Swamps in play until turn 7, he was horribly colour-screwed. [rolls eyes]

No picture of that, this is long enough already.

Game 3.

I keep Plains, UW land, Train of Thought, Dismisser, Gelectrode, Oaf and Grasp. He lets me go first so I'll have three mana on turn three, but I won't have any red unless I draw one of 8 red sources. I have the Train to help me dig for it.

He did miss his third land drop, which gave me hope. I did draw two of my three white cards, which also gave me hope. But we all know how this turns out:

My Last RGD Draft

(you can't tell, but I have 4 lands in play, Azorious Chancery, two Islands and my only Plains)

There are a couple of subtle and not so subtle things to note:

1) I have 7 red cards in my hand and no red mana in play. That's one hell of a mulligan.
2) It's turn 8 - I have drawn 2 lands and 5 spells to go with my opening 2 lands and 5 spells.
3) I have Dismisser in hand, the only remaining card in my deck that costs more than 5, but only 5 mana available to me.
4) In hand and in play, he has four spells that cost five mana, and 1 that costs six. On the board he only has four lands and a 1/1 Vesper Ghoul.
5) In my hand, I have two ways pingers that could deal with said Ghoul, without which he would still have nothing in play on turn 8. They could also handle his Fists of Ironwood.

In essence, I got screwed. Big time. And apparently it was a good decision to avoid black-green.

But having written this out, I can see numerous times where I made errors, so I can't really shake my fist at the heavens. Instead I can be cranky all night to the frustration of the ever-patient Armoire. It's the price you pay for all the lovin', sweetie!

But that's it for me and RGD. I'm down to a starter and three Ravnica packs which I'll try and trade for tickets. Time to clear the head, stop thinking about the set and prepare for Time Spiral and the trip to Kobe! And, of course, stop writing about these obnoxious drafts and get back to the interesting stuff like sneezing in my own face.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Roxette - "It Must Have Been Love"

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